What does a porn star do for fun on his day off? I suppose he picks the sleep out of his eyes at 5 AM, gets stuck behind a garbage truck in rush hour traffic, endures an hour of Paris Hilton talk at the water cooler, comes home to burnt meatloaf, scrubs his kid’s banana vomit out of the carpet, and quietly jacks off in bed so he can fall asleep next to his slightly bearded wife, who has a headache. Actually, the poor guy never has a day off, so I offered to trade with him for a few days and I’m just wondering what he’s doing with his vacation while I’m boning Jenna Jameson.